The Book of CarolSue Read online

  “Please,” he said when Brother Zach called again Sunday night wanting to know how much had been in the collections that day. “Give me a chance. I have a Plan.” He was home, or what passed for home now, in his bedroom. “I’m going to ask my aunt. She’s well-off. Not a church member, see, but we’re pretty close.”

  “And where is this benefactor?” Brother Zachariah had said, his tone an angry challenge around the edge. “Why didn’t you go to her before this?”

  Gary kept his voice as low as he could. It was an old, well-built farmhouse so the walls were plaster and he had reasonable privacy, but still. He could occasionally hear Sister Martha when she was berating Brother Thomas about his sneaking a third piece of pie when he was supposed to lose weight. Gary wondered why she kept making pies but didn’t suggest she stop. He needed a cheap place to live, after all, and Sister Martha hardly charged him enough to cover the hot water he used. The room was plain but she let him put up pictures, his own art, as long as he promised to patch the wall and paint eventually, plus the bed was decent and there was a chair and a good reading light. Gary made do just fine, so he did not want Sister Martha or Brother Thomas getting any hint that he, and therefore their church, might be in trouble.

  “Speak up,” Brother Zachariah demanded now, and Gary, reluctant, repeated what he’d just nearly whispered.

  “She has the baby.”

  “What?” Brother Zach sounded shocked, like Gary had done something stupid.

  “The baby I told you about. She’s been taking care of her.”

  “Where?”

  “At my mother’s.”

  “Huh. You told ’em anything?”

  “No. Didn’t tell them, like you said.” Gary hoped Brother Zach would praise him for following instructions.

  “Why didn’t you get the money from her before?”

  He could hardly tell Brother Zachariah about the argument. How would that buy him time? “She’s got the baby for me. I didn’t want to ask her for more,” Gary said, then realized he was whining. “But I will, I will for sure. Tomorrow,” he added, adding steel to his voice.

  “Huh,” came the response. “See that you do.”

  * * *

  The morning was dismal, a grudging sky hanging low, full of ominous suggestion, which Gary did not appreciate. With CarolSue and Brother Zachariah threatening him, was God chiming in, too? He wished, as he often did, that God would speak a little more directly, and then he wondered if the thought was blasphemous.

  He’d not specified what time today he would approach CarolSue when he’d promised Brother Zachariah that he wouldn’t postpone it. He couldn’t spare the money to buy himself the big breakfast he would have liked, not right now, so he just had the bread that Sister Martha was kind to always leave out in case he wanted to make himself some toast to go with the last coffee they’d left in the pot. He sat at their kitchen table knowing that Brother Thomas was likely tending something in the barn, and Sister Martha would have gone to visit her mother in the nursing home. The house was empty, giving Gary plenty of space to dread the day.

  He gave a deep sigh. This cup was not going to pass from him, but he could avoid drinking from it until the afternoon. The baby napped after her bottle at noon and it was her longest sleep period during the day. His mother had mentioned that, at some point when he’d been over. He’d go then. If the rain held off, maybe he could catch CarolSue inside while his mother was out in the yard.

  Chapter 25

  Gary

  When he pulled the church van into the driveway at one o’clock after dithering through the morning trying to look up convincing Scripture he could cite to CarolSue, but freaking himself out by finding all the wrong Signs, Gary thought maybe it was going to be all right after all. His mother was out in the front deadheading chrysanthemums. She called to him when he got out, gesturing with her chin. “Your aunt’s inside with the baby. I’m trying to get this done before it rains. I’ll be in in a bit. Did you need anything special?”

  “Nope. I’ll go see if Aunt CarolSue needs help with Gracia.”

  “Fat chance she’ll let you get your hands on that child,” his mother said, and bent back over her flowers, bright smatterings against all the fallen brown of the leaves. He should offer to rake out the garden, but she usually didn’t like how he did things anyway because he stepped on stuff he wasn’t supposed to. If he had a little extra money, like he used to once in a while, he’d buy her a blower. Maybe he’d be able to do it for Christmas, and it’d be cheaper on the internet than the Supply Company.

  Gary’s feet swished through the leaves on the stone walk and he let himself in the front door.

  “Shhh,” CarolSue whispered. She was in the living room. “I just put her down, but she’s not asleep. If she hears anything going on, she’ll want up.”

  Gary nodded, pointed to the kitchen and mouthed, “Need to talk to you.”

  Without waiting, he walked ahead through the dining area and into the kitchen, where he didn’t think their voices would carry to the master bedroom. CarolSue followed. Baby bottles were in the drying rack; CarolSue began assembling and putting them away when she got to the sink. But she turned her head to show she was listening.

  “I’m sorry,” he began. “I know I overreacted when you said you wanted to keep Gracia. You really love her. It means the world that you’ve stepped in and given her such wonderful care.” Every word of that was true. He hoped it would be enough.

  CarolSue fixed her eyes right on his. She looked tired, but put together—good grief, she even had makeup on. And her hair was fixed. She did not look like any of the farm women around here, that was for sure. Not even the ones who worked in the Supply Company, the post office, or the bank. Shoot, not even the high school teachers. When Gary went to the community college, a couple of his professors looked like this, ones who came over from the university to teach a class. So maybe it was a city thing.

  “I meant what I said, Gary.”

  “I know you did,” he said, ducking the issue. “And we can talk about how that might work.” What he meant was, I’ll have to find a way to explain why that’s not going to work. But he couldn’t say that now. He had to get past this part. “You know, right, that this is part of the church work.”

  CarolSue cocked her head. Like she knew he was diverting her and was waiting.

  Gary hurried to continue. “I have to do this through the church. That’s how Gracia came to me, see? And here’s the thing. It turns out that I made a bad mistake. I didn’t register the church the way I was supposed to, and now we owe the IRS a bunch of taxes and penalties or we’ll get shut down. I’m worried about Gracia, but about the whole church. Could I possibly borrow the money from you to get the church in the clear?” He rushed the words, to just get it out, trying not to stammer and to look her in the eyes.

  “What?’ she said, her eyes narrowing slightly and scrunching her nose. “Churches don’t pay taxes.”

  “I was supposed to register, see—”

  “So you talked to the IRS?”

  “Well, sort of.”

  “What does that mean?” Her eyes were even more narrow now, as if she were trying to x-ray his mind.

  “They were going to shut down the church, see, and I was worried about what would happen to Gracia. So I borrowed, but now the person I borrowed from needs it back, and I have to pay the IRS.” It was hard to look at her. And damn if he hadn’t just heard thunder. “Can you please just loan me money? I need ten thousand dollars. I’ll get a second job and pay you back, and we’ll talk about Gracia, as long as I can keep my church open.” He really hadn’t planned to say it quite this way.

  “Gary, it’s not the money, but something doesn’t sound right about this.”

  Oh no. Brother Zachariah would be furious. He expected to be paid back and paid back now.

  “It’s for Gracia,” Gary appealed. He’d almost forgotten what it was like to lie on the spot, felt his face betray him again.
/>   CarolSue shook her head. “There’s something else going on. I don’t know what. I’d do anything for that baby girl, you know that, but something’s not right here.”

  More thunder. If there was lightning, his mother would come in. A few fat raindrops splattered on the kitchen window. The front door shut. “Raining,” his mother said, appearing in the dining area.

  “We’re talking, Mom,” Gary said, hoping she’d be tactful and go away.

  “What’s up?” Louisa said. She was windblown, and her hands were all dirty. She went to the sink and washed them.

  “Gary’s got a problem with his church,” CarolSue said.

  “Big surprise there.” His mother had never believed in anything he’d done. His aunt at least understood that Gary had been Saved by donating to the Brother’s ministry, even if she herself preferred to keep her original Methodist membership and call it done.

  “Stop, Louisa. Not now.”

  His mother sighed, took a clean hand towel from the drawer, and dried her hands. They looked old and work-worn, with short nails, more clean now than during the summer but still showing the effect of all the compost she’d mulched the gardens with. Al had been out on the combine and the kid they hired, Brandon, was away in college now. CarolSue wasn’t much use outside. Too late now. His mother likely had it finished. She’d have keeled over before she’d have asked him, her own son, to help her. If he’d offered, she’d have said no anyway. But he should have tried.

  “So what’s wrong?” his mother said. Weary.

  “He’s asking to borrow money from me. For the church. Something to do with Gracie.”

  “Oh no. No, no, no,” his mother said right away.

  Gary started to put up a hand, to tell her to stay out of it, when CarolSue intervened.

  “I was about to suggest that we look into this more,” CarolSue said.

  “The thing is, I need it right away. So we don’t get shut down.” Gary was getting desperate but tried to filter that out of his voice. He needed to make a calm, convincing case.

  There was a loud, sharp banging on the front door. Jessie went crazy barking. They all looked at one another, wondering who was expecting someone. Gary thought it had to be the worst timing ever. He said, “Hang on, I’ll check,” heading through the dining room for the front.

  Louisa said, “Maybe it’s Gus,” and pushed to his side to go for the door.

  “Shhh. Keep your voices down,” CarolSue said, trailing them out of the kitchen, riding herd. “Don’t wake the baby!”

  Gary looked out the picture window. There was an unfamiliar car behind his van. At least it wasn’t Gus. He opened the door.

  “Brother Zachariah!” Gary was as shocked and scared as if he’d been caught at something. “I’m dealing with things now.” It was the only thing he could think to say. “Please.”

  The Brother’s face was intent. “Thought you might need some help.” He stepped over the threshold. “Explaining the importance.”

  “Uh, no, everything’s under control. Stay down, Jessie.” The puppy was jumping around, agitated. Gary never could tell what that meant, but this time his mother didn’t grab the dog’s collar or tell her to settle down.

  Louisa said, “What’s going on here? Who are you?” As if Gary hadn’t just said his name.

  “Mom, this is Brother Zachariah. He’s the one who—”

  “I know.” Louisa did not invite him in. “What do you want, Zachariah?”

  “Brother Gary here owes some serious money. Else his church is gonna be shut down and he’ll likely do some jail time. Fraud and the like. I loaned it to him and he promised it back, but he hasn’t paid. He mentioned a family member would help him out today.”

  “I’ve just been speaking with my aunt, Brother. If you’ll please leave and allow us to finish, I’m sure you and I can . . .”

  “I’ll just stay so we can take care of it prompt.”

  His mother took Gary completely off guard then. “Well, if this involves you men and Gary’s aunt, perhaps you will excuse me? I’ll let you see to your business.” Was she really going to cooperate and stay out of it? It was almost as if she was giving CarolSue tacit approval to help him.

  Brother Zachariah said, “That’s a good idea.” He went and sat down on the couch without being invited. Patent shoes and dress slacks, a green, purple, and yellow paisley shirt and a yellow tie. Green socks. His hair was slicked down, shiny as his shoes. Gary had the unwelcome thought that if his father weren’t already dead, he would have keeled over seeing that getup on a man in his living room. He stuffed the notion down. Brother Zachariah was a preacher, not a farmer, after all.

  CarolSue stepped forward.

  “Uh, this is my aunt, CarolSue Davis.” Gary extended a hand in the Brother’s direction. “Aunt CarolSue, this is Brother Zachariah. He’s the one who Saved me, you know, after Cody died, and Dad.”

  CarolSue hesitated, and then manners won. “Nice to meet you,” she said. But she didn’t shake hands. Gary noticed that Brother Zachariah didn’t stand up, the way Gary had been taught to, and he knew that was a mistake CarolSue would notice. He hoped she’d overlook it.

  “Uh, maybe we should sit down?” Gary felt as if his stomach had turned into a frog pond and the denizens were all jumping at once. CarolSue took Harold’s chair and Gary the wingback. Outside, thunder and heavier rain. Gary thought, What if it’s a Sign? Oh Jesus, please don’t let it be a Sign, please. Please.

  “I’m not sure why you’re here, sir,” CarolSue said, looking at Brother Zachariah.

  “Want to make sure you get a straight story, is all,” he said.

  “Are you suggesting Gary would lie to me?”

  “Might not let you know how serious the trouble is.”

  “And how serious is that?”

  “Real serious. He can still get outta it, but not for long.”

  “As I was just explaining, Aunt CarolSue, the Brother here has been kind enough to intervene with the authorities and keep the church from being shut down, but now I need to pay him back. He needs the money for his own ministry. Is that right, Brother?”

  “That’s about it.”

  “Well, so exactly what would happen if Gary doesn’t pay you right now?”

  “He gets shut down, and . . .”

  “Well, it sounds like you’d get shut down, too, if you don’t have the money for your . . . uh . . . ministry. Do I understand you correctly? Exactly what entity have you paid on Gary’s behalf?”

  “I’ve paid entirely too much, is that what you mean?”

  “Entity. What entity? Who have you paid?”

  Brother Zachariah leaned forward on the couch. “Look, Missus Davis. Brother Gary here is aware of all that. The authorities.” His voice, usually sonorous, got an edge to it. “Alls I want is to be repaid so I can get about my ministry. And I wouldn’t want to reveal some other problems he might have goin’ on.” As he said the last, he shifted his face to stare hard at Gary.

  The cryptic reference led his aunt to challenge Brother Zachariah as to what he meant. Gary knew exactly what the Brother meant, and CarolSue would never give him the money if she found out about Gracie like this.

  “Aunt CarolSue, if you’d just consider loaning me the money. I know this is uncomfortable for all of us. I’m good for it. I’ll get a second job and pay you back.” Gary went on making various proposals to convince her to loan or donate the money. CarolSue looked at him with her head tilted, at least listening, and he’d begun to think there might be hope until he heard the hard, fast gravel crunch of a car coming down the drive too fast and the scraping of tires on pebbles. A car door slam. Gary started to get up to see what the latest intrusion was, but before he even got to the window, his mother hurried through the room between them all and opened the front door. Gus, in uniform, came in, hand resting on his gun, though it was still holstered.

  “Zachariah Barnes, you’re under arrest for extortion. You have the right to remain silent.” And
Gus proceeded to recite all the Miranda provisions in his stentorian voice. Gary tried to protest but Gus ran right over him.

  “Wait, wait, Gus, there’s a mistake here,” Gary said. “Brother Zachariah loaned me money to pay the IRS. I didn’t register the church. It was a loan. He just needs me to pay him back.”

  “Son, that is a load of bullshit. Excuse me, CarolSue, Louisa. Bless your heart, Gary. He’s a grifter. Stealing from you. I ran him out of the county once already.”

  “I’ll call my lawyer and be out in twenty minutes,” Brother Zachariah said, a splay of red rising on his neck and face. “You betrayed me, Gary. You betrayed Jesus.”

  “Thanks, Louisa,” Gus said. “Come on, Barnes.”

  Gracia fussed. No, no, not now. Please, please, just get Gus out of here with Brother Zachariah. As much as Gary had not wanted Gus to take the Brother, now he desperately wanted them both out. Gracia got louder. Gus, somewhat deaf, didn’t seem to notice.

  “Brother Zachariah, I’ll do everything I can to help,” Gary said. “I’ll explain.”

  Brother Zachariah wasn’t hard of hearing. A smirk crossed his face and disappeared. Raising his eyebrows, he said, “There’s the baby crying. Somebody better go tend to her,” his voice infused with innocent-sounding concern.

  “What?” Gus chuckled. “Let’s go, Barnes. You’re crazy, too.” He hadn’t heard Gracia.

  Go, go, go, Gary thought.

  But then the baby let loose. The loud voices had awakened her, or the thunder, or a combination. She didn’t usually wake screaming, but today she screamed.

  “I’ve got it,” CarolSue said, and headed back to the room she shared with Gracia.

  “There’s a baby here?” Gus said.